I recognize that there are probably unflattering details I don't know about First Event and TCNE wrapped up in this boycott. I have no involvement with the board that runs it. But the experience of 5-year attendee is of beauty, positivity, and striving. It's been running over 40 years, starting as a crossdressers event (the first of the year, thus First Event) in a time when trans identities were deeply closeted and incredibly dangerous. TCNE once meant Tiffany Club of New England. Now it means Trans Club of New England. It hosts four generations trans people and allies, and it has lived as an event through unfathomable change in the experience of being transgender.

It is (massively) disproportionately white, disproportionately monied, disproportionately transfeminine, and disproportionately aging. Its programming swings wildly from year to year based on what's on the mind of the volunteers. I'm sure some of the folks on the board are assholes. I'm sure some of the boycotters have good points on what should be done differently.

But it has always strived to be better and more inclusive. There is a joy in all bodies and all identities that fills its space. And there is love for shellshocked cis partners of newly-out trans folks. So many fought for their marriages, winning or losing, that they want to do what they can to help someone else's marriage make it through. That meant, and still means, a lot to me. I'm in a place now to pay it forward, and I really try to do so.